a dilemma

Junior Prom is on April 4th. 

Sounds exciting, right? 

Wrong.

At least for me.

The fact is that I'm not exactly the main character in a Disney movie who ends up with all her hopes, dreams, and (insert another cliche term here) fulfilled.

Far from it.

I think I'm just making things complicated for myself. Nothing has ever actually happened to me that would make me feel like this. 

But that's my point. 

Nothing ever happens. 

I think I have a better chance of catching the bird flu than being asked to prom (or even on a date).

Yes, that's where this post is going.

My problem is that I'm not very outgoing. My mom always says you have to be a friend to make a friend (or something along those lines.) I guess the same goes for relationships.

People (aka feminists) have said "Don't wait for a guy to ask you to prom. Ask him yourself. Be an independent woman!" Blahblahblah. I can hear Beyonce in the background just thinking about it. 

But I am a sucker for chivalry. I could have easily lived during the time when the guy swept the girl off her feet and carried her off into the sunset (if that even happened, that is). 

I'm lucky if a guy will hold the door for me.

I think I went off on a tangent. Back to my point.

I like someone. I'll tell you that much.

But (wait for it...) I don't think he likes me.

Surprised? Probably not.

What's worse is that I know that someone else likes me but I like him as a friend.

Ouch, I know. 

(At this point, I'm a little worried about who's reading this blog but, I guess I'll take my chances).

I can't even describe how I feel everytime I think about how I probably WON'T get asked by the person I like. Ok, I'll try.

Imagine someone screaming a certain curse word.

Now multiply that by 10 (Or 100, depending on how loud you imagined the person screaming).

Maybe I'm just being overly dramatic.

I joke with my family that I'm going to turn into a spinster.

My little sister has fun imagining me being a single old lady with 27 cats.

Gee, thanks Giana.

Either way, I'm not expecting much.

My expectations for everything these days have been set pretty low.

But there is a part of me that is hoping that what I want to happen will, in fact, happen.

Until then, I'll just listen to Coldplay and pretend that Chris Martin is singing to me.

-tania