lol. rofl. lmao.

It's really hard to express yourself over the internet.

On one hand, you don't want to come across as bitchy to someone you don't know, but on the other, you don't want to seem like a mouse.

This really bothers me.
I'm the kind of person who needs the inflection of her voice to be heard.
Especially because I'm so sarcastic.

What's even worse is when you're trying to show that you're currently laughing.

First, there's the LOL.
I'll admit, I do "laugh out loud" from time to time, but this one is just so overused that I feel like a total n00b when I type it.

Second, ROFL.
This happens to be my personal favorite, not really sure why. I mean, I don't actually fall out of my chair and "roll on the floor laughing", but I use this one the most.

Third, LMAO (or LMFAO, depending on the degree of laughter, I suppose.)
I don't really use this one at all. I think it's because I just don't like the mental image that goes along with it.

Anyway, I just felt like saying this, even though it was pretty pointless.

untitled.

I'll be honest, I don't know what to post tonight.
After yesterday, my views on so many things changed.
(ex. my previous post about junior prom should definitely be disregarded.)

But seriously.
I'm pretty much just sitting here and thinking about how to explain the tornado of thoughts going on in my head.
I pretty much realized that I can't, though.

So, I've just been listening to music to make up for the fact that I can't really explain myself.
"Kids" by MGMT and "Strawberry Swing" by Coldplay are the songs that have been on repeat for the past few hours.

Ok. I can't think of a witty conclusion to this post, so... I guess one won't be provided.

-tania

yes, definitely.

I just want to say that black and brown can most definitely be worn together.

That is all.

-tania

procrastination.

JRP.

Hearing these three letters may cause various side effects such as nausea, headaches, and a wide range of gastrointestinal disorders.

At least for the juniors at my school.

Now is the time of the Junior Research Paper.

(Yes, it deserves capital letters; it's that important.)

A 5-7 page essay chalk full of quotes, judgments and over the top language that no one actually uses while speaking.

Obviously it's what I'm currently not working on.

I think the longest essay I've ever written was a solid 3 pages that may have spilled over into a 4th. But this 5 page minimum seems so daunting. I'll be lucky if I get 4 full pages. Ugh.

Anyway, my story is "Jeeves Takes Charge" by P.G. Wodehouse.

I'll be honest, I only chose it because of the "Jeeves and Wooster" TV show on the BBC from the 90s starring Hugh Laurie and Stephen Fry.

It is pretty funny, though. Especially when I picture Hugh Laurie acting like a complete buffoon.

Well, I think I've procrastinated enough.

Time to get back to work.

-tania

:)

It's funny how I'm writing these posts and pretending no one will read them, when, obviously, they will be read (and probably misinterpreted... or correctly interpreted, who knows). But the thing is, I really don't mind. It's so much easier for me to just put my feelings out there than to actually talk to someone and say how I feel or what's going on in my life.

The only bad thing about online communication is that it's almost impossible to express real emotions through 26 letters and an assortment of characters.

It's especially difficult to get the point of a smile across. 

These characters -- :) -- simply do not relay the feeling of joy that one usually feels when smiling. 

Especially when Facebook chat turns them into creeptastic pedophile-like smiles, the corners of their mouth turned up so far you'd think they just got a botched face-lift.

A smile is a simple, yet meaningful facial expression. 

I may smile a lot, but each smile has a different meaning behind it. 

Either way, smiling is just an all-around great thing to do.

I think it's been proven to enlighten the soul. (ok, I don't really know, but that would be great)

So, if you're ever at a loss for words, just do what I do.

Smile.

-tania

i have no doubt, one day the sun will come out.

Today was an absolutely lovely day.

I don't really need to say why, though.

I have my reasons.

Because of this, I figured to do a music post.

I will periodically do these, especially since music is such an important part of my life.

Anway, let's start.

Coldplay

is one of the best bands I have ever listened to.

I can not explain what their music does to me. I can honestly feel a multitude of emotions at the same time when listening to them. I'll be in a great mood and if "The Scientist" comes up on my ipod, I may (half of the time) start bawling, for absolutely no reason at all. But then on the flip side of that, I'll be having a craptastic day and listening to "Yellow" will make everything better.

Here are some of my favorite lines:

But I have no doubt

One day the sun will come out

- Lovers in Japan

Questions of science, science and progress

Do not speak as loud as my heart

- The Scientist

Yeah... 

So that list was pretty weak, but it's too hard to pick favorite lines when the whole song is amazing. Also, I tried to include a picture in this post, but could not get it to work. What a shame.

I'm doing another post because this one was unacceptable according to my standards.

-tania

the case of the clam.

I come across to most people as being really shy and quiet.

A girl who keeps to herself.

But if you talk to me for over 15 minutes, you'll quickly come to another conclusion.

I believe most people think "Jesus, this girl is insane/loud/obnoxious/hilarious."

I love talking to people and making them laugh.

The part I previously mentioned about me being shy does hold true, though only in special cases.

There are certain people (well, a certain person...) with whom I would love to have a converstion with. Any time I am near this "certain person", I clam up. Seriously, I can not say a word. A little laugh and a smile is about all I can produce. I'll sit there in class thinking "Ok, I'll talk now... Maybe now... Ok, now... I swear I will!" Just when I'm about to say something, it always happens.

The bell rings.

This has happened on more than one occasion.

The first time I thought, "Oh, that was just unlucky."

The second time I thought, "Crap. Ok, next time."

...

The @!&^%&th time I thought, "TANIA OPEN UP YOUR EFFIN MOUTH, GODDAMMIT."

I'm seriously starting to get worried (and maybe a little amused at how ridiculous I'm being).

I mean, there are only about 2 more months of school.

If I don't strike up a conversation now, I won't have the chance to. 

Ahaha.

It doesn't really matter, though.

I feel like I've only been complaining on this blog so far.

I promise next time I'll post something happy and exciting.

-tania

a dilemma

Junior Prom is on April 4th. 

Sounds exciting, right? 

Wrong.

At least for me.

The fact is that I'm not exactly the main character in a Disney movie who ends up with all her hopes, dreams, and (insert another cliche term here) fulfilled.

Far from it.

I think I'm just making things complicated for myself. Nothing has ever actually happened to me that would make me feel like this. 

But that's my point. 

Nothing ever happens. 

I think I have a better chance of catching the bird flu than being asked to prom (or even on a date).

Yes, that's where this post is going.

My problem is that I'm not very outgoing. My mom always says you have to be a friend to make a friend (or something along those lines.) I guess the same goes for relationships.

People (aka feminists) have said "Don't wait for a guy to ask you to prom. Ask him yourself. Be an independent woman!" Blahblahblah. I can hear Beyonce in the background just thinking about it. 

But I am a sucker for chivalry. I could have easily lived during the time when the guy swept the girl off her feet and carried her off into the sunset (if that even happened, that is). 

I'm lucky if a guy will hold the door for me.

I think I went off on a tangent. Back to my point.

I like someone. I'll tell you that much.

But (wait for it...) I don't think he likes me.

Surprised? Probably not.

What's worse is that I know that someone else likes me but I like him as a friend.

Ouch, I know. 

(At this point, I'm a little worried about who's reading this blog but, I guess I'll take my chances).

I can't even describe how I feel everytime I think about how I probably WON'T get asked by the person I like. Ok, I'll try.

Imagine someone screaming a certain curse word.

Now multiply that by 10 (Or 100, depending on how loud you imagined the person screaming).

Maybe I'm just being overly dramatic.

I joke with my family that I'm going to turn into a spinster.

My little sister has fun imagining me being a single old lady with 27 cats.

Gee, thanks Giana.

Either way, I'm not expecting much.

My expectations for everything these days have been set pretty low.

But there is a part of me that is hoping that what I want to happen will, in fact, happen.

Until then, I'll just listen to Coldplay and pretend that Chris Martin is singing to me.

-tania

hello big world!

I'll just start off by saying I like to procrastinate.

Why should I finish my homework when I can start a blog instead?

I've always wanted to. In fact, I did (see wildflowervintage.blogspot.com).

It didn't really take off. But maybe that's because I never actually made a third post. 

Either way, here I am.

I'm really not good at these things, but hopefully that will change.

The fact is that I have a lot of things to say and really no one to say them to.

An online journal that the whole world can read is obviously the answer to that.

I think this blog will comprise of 1.) my ramblings about school and life in general 

2.) random pictures or anything I find hilarious/interesting

3.) a few swear words here and there

Well, I'm pretty sure I'll post again later today. I'm feeling the urge to share my thoughts

on junior prom [ sneak peek-  :/  ]

<3

-tania